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Lol yeah, so if you would not mind, I would love to hear constructive criticism on it in the future.

ok, I will

I am going to use Gmod to create art for it to help describe things to hard to do with words.

Interesting. I like it.

GEEEF

I crawled forward into the world of light, only to find a not such a bright world in it.

On 01-16-2010 03:42 am DarkEvangel wrote:

I crawled forward into the world of light, only to find a not such a bright world in it.

Like that line as a whole, however better description maybe??

Stories are fun to write. I've been writing a fanfic for months and should really get around to finishing soon...

On 01-15-2010 21:06 pm VicariousReality wrote:
I am going to use Gmod to create art for it to help describe things to hard to do with words.

Lol yeah. I have some things I am going to make in Source SDK to create maps for these elements. Only, it might be hard for some sceens.

My photoshiop is broken . :(

But here is a future place in the story.

It is 35 Chapters in. :D
Anyway, Chapter 2 has been started.

When will you post more story?

*** Midterm is preventing typing time. Will very soon.

it's okay, I like the part with dead bodies, add some shooting and you got yourself a good story. And no that's not a joke. You need guns. My story needs guns. If not guns, supernatural powers. If you include neither, your story sucks

bombs are pretty good, but it can't match the sheer power in a figure with a gun. a story is not a story without a figure of power. my story has an antihero who has a rigged gun. If you need more tips-like you'd want any more -just ask me.

On 01-17-2010 13:41 pm VicariousReality wrote:
My photoshiop is broken . :(

But here is a future place in the story.

It is 35 Chapters in. :D
Anyway, Chapter 2 has been started.

Guns are a mass aspect in this story. I
I will type more after Wednesday, I have midterms.

good, which reminds me, I drew one of my story characters. The Beast, after repeatedly scarring myself.

2-Somewhere Else

It was very quiet. Even more so with the dead bodies on the ground.

I stumbled towards them, and kneeled next to a man with brown short hair, in a red coat.

He was face down on the pavement of the street, in a small pool of blood.

I attempted to roll him over.

Maybe he had some ID on him. Or maybe something that could tell me where I was. Maybe even when. I rolled him onto his back with the little strength my arms had. The first thing I noticed, was a bullet hole in his chest.

I became more fearful of where I was than before. My heart was beating fast.

I pulled my hands away, and backed up.

I felt tired. i wanted to sleep. Maybe this was just a dream...

I could hear the faint sound of bullets and gunfire.

Recognizing the fact that I was in the open was beyond me. I didn't think of anything besides what was going on.

Then i started to hear another sound. A helicopter? Maybe.

I took action against this one. I stood up from the ground, and looked for something to hide behind.

Before I could, I saw it. There was a car in the distance. Couldn't tell what type except that it was white, and was driving fast, towards where I was.

I looked above it as the helicopter-like sound grew louder.

I couldn't understand what it was.

It was no helicopter. It looked alive. it was long and had a light brown color to it. Fin-like apparatuses seem to jet out the sides of it near both the rear and front.

It had a short, cannon-like part near the front, firing something at the car. The back of it had a rotor, probably what I heard.

It was coming closer.

heh. tl;dr

Lol?      

No, that last statement was in complete honesty.

On 01-28-2010 19:10 pm AlexGETsomePIE wrote:
No, that last statement was in complete honesty.

Oh cool. A story. Why didn't I come in here before? :O

It's easier for me to first summarize the main plot and each chapter briefly. And then, when you know what your writing leads to, you can draw out each chapter in detail.

...Speaking of which, I should also get working on my own story. Thanks for the motivation. :D

Yeah. I am working on Chapter 3 right now. I have desided to just redo all of the ones in my notebook instead of just copying them out.

Redoing them? That's gonna take a while, but at least you already know where your story's going to. :D

I can't wait to read more. [I would add constructive criticism, but I'm too lazy to right now. x'D]