The Dildo power-up will screw over the driver ranked in first place. Use it near the end of a race to gum up the works. Rote memorization is the only way you'll master the tracks. Don't worry about plowing into the cows that wander onto the track--but do worry about the exploding decoy cows that your opponents can leave for you. Sparky the Dog is one of the most annoying, profanity-inducing pick-ups you can get. Be sure to use him on all your friends to show them that you really do care.