______           _   _                           _
|  _  \         | | | |                         | |    _
| | | |___  __ _| |_| |__  ___ _ __   __ _ _ __ | | __(_)
| | | / _ \/ _` | __| '_ \/ __| '_ \ / _` | '_ \| |/ /
| |/ /  __/ (_| | |_| | | \__ \ |_) | (_| | | | |   <  _
|___/ \___|\__,_|\__|_| |_|___/ .__/ \__,_|_| |_|_|\_\(_)
| |
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_____ _                                    __   _   _ _      _
|_   _| |                                  / _| | | | (_)    | |
| | | |__   ___  _ __   __ _ ___    ___ | |_  | | | |_ _ __| |_ _   _  ___
| | | '_ \ / _ \| '_ \ / _` / __|  / _ \|  _| | | | | | '__| __| | | |/ _ \
| | | | | | (_) | | | | (_| \__ \ | (_) | |   \ \_/ / | |  | |_| |_| |  __/
\_/ |_| |_|\___/|_| |_|\__, |___/  \___/|_|    \___/|_|_|   \__|\__,_|\___|
__/ |
|___/
Hey everyone, welcome to Bkstunt's and Thnikaman's walkthrough of Deathspank:
Thongs of Virtue. Just like the first game, Deathspank, Thongs of Virtue is jam
packed with humor and fantastic dialog. It also has a TON of quests, I counted
something around 162 quests by the time I finished.
In the walkthrough, we'll list all the quests and provide a general guide. In
all honesty, I didn't find Thongs of Virtue to be too hard. There's a lot more
spread-out quests here compared to the first game, and it's a bit harder in
general. But there's also much better weapons and variety, as well as new
co-op choices (Sorry, still no online co-op).
First though, here are our emails, so you can contact us for FAQs (Check the
guide first), questions, or comments:
Bkstunt: Gregorio31@gmail.com
Thnikaman: Thnikaman.Thnik@gmail.com
Contents:
I. Controls.......................................DS01
II. Walkthrough...................................DS02
Prolouge: War is hell on my allergies.....DS02a
Part 1: Rambo and the Nun.................DS02b
Part 2: Something sinister is cooking.....DS02c
Part 3: The fall of Santa Claus...........DS02d
(Optional Area) The Snowy Mountain Dungeon........DS02e
III. Quest List...................................DS03
IV. Runestones....................................DS04
V. Trophies.......................................DS05
VI. FAQ...........................................DS06
VII. Credits and other ramblings..................DS07
I. Controls.......................................DS01
As I mentioned before, the game is pretty much self-explanatory, and I'm sure
you can figure it out within minutes, but here's the control scheme:
Left stick - Move
Right stick - Pan camera
Select - Open Quest Log (R1 and L1 to navigate pages)
Start - Pause the game
R1 - Open Inventory screen
L1 - Open Map screen
R2 - Block
L2 - Target enemy
D-pad/Shape buttons - Use equipped items
And there you have it. Pretty much everything is self-explanatory, it's
exactley the same as the first game, so if you played that you'll be at home
here.
II. Walkthrough..................................DS02
Prolouge: War is hell on my allergies.....DS02a
The game begins with a cutscene insuring us that this is still in fact a true
story. The cutscene brings us up to speed on Deathspank's activities since
his journy north into "Le battlefield". It is at this point we find that
Deathspank has been captured by orque soldiers and is forced to peel potatoes
but all these things and more are about to change. You'll also have a new main
quest. What, you don't want to peel potatoes, do you?
A quick note on co-op, the second player can drop in and out at will. This time
around, you'll have to choose between Sparkles the wizard from the first game
or Steve the ninja. Also, if you bought the game at release you can choose
the DLC character Tannako the warrior-spider. Each character has their own
unique moves and shares the health bar with Deathspank.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Escape the POW Camp
From: Storyline
Reward: Um, escaping?
How to Accomplish: Um, fight your orque captors! Just keep going and you'll
finish this quest.
Ok, lets go over a few Deathspank-related notes right quick. I'm sure you can
tell how to use weapons, and can tell that you can equip up to eight items
using your controller. You can also auto-equip armor in the item menu, which
is nice, but it doesn't auto equip weapons.
We're not going to tell you the location of every single chest, or when you
get better items, so be sure to explore a bit and check out any new weapons
that you pick up. Some weapons have elemental attributes as well, so keep that
in mind. The health meter and experience meter are self explainitory, but the
purple thing in the middle is your justice meter. You will get special weapons
that you can equip and use for special attacks when the justice meter is full
(these weapons have purple arrows behind them). You'll also get special
runestones that let you combine justice and melee attacks to do even better
special attacks.
Deathspank himself as one of the thongs, which allows him to resurrect at any
nearby outhouse, meaning you are immortal. You can also use the outhouses to
warp around. Quests are all kept tracked in your quest menu, and you can use
fortune cookies to get hints on the quests. Some quests will require you
traveling around the world, and some you will be holding on to for a LONG time,
so keep that in mind to. Ok, let's play.
Armed with a potato pealer and your pow gear you set out down the path towards
your orque captors. Stabbing the first guard to death with said pealing device
you will obtain a semi-auto pistol (thats right, it's time for a little bang
bang action). Make sure to open the nearby chest as it contains a fire axe for
your convenience. As you walk a bit further down the path you will find a
great number of orque guards stationed there, many of which have double axes.
The first one you kill should drop one of these and you can finally replace
your pealer. In this same area is a higher level orque with a "tesla rod".
Kill him and this will be your first WEAPON OF JUSTICE!!! Ahem, sorry. Now head
west through the gate that is now open and you'll recieve a quest.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Make an Escape Plan
From: Storyline
Reward: FREEDOM (What, you wanted a cookie?)
How to Accomplish: Talk to your fellow POW's, they might have something
interesting to say.
First you'll talk to the American soldier as he's the first one you'll come
to. He'll inform you of the overall plan and suggest you obtain a uniform to
fool the bridge guard.
Next, you'll speak with the British chap north of the American. He'll tell the
orques deep dark secret and major weakness: they can't read. Which makes your
new task of forging documents much MUCH easier. What horrible guards.
Lastly, we'll talk to the French fellow to your east (Gee, it seems like the
whole world is in on this war and like it's not the first time either. Hmmmm.)
He likes to talk in codes and informs you that to cross the bridge you'll need
to firgure out the password somehow.
Now the gate to the east will open allowing you to progress.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Find Orque Gloves/Boots/Shoulder/Vest/Helmet
From: POW Soldier 1 (American)
Reward: A charming new set of orquish diggs
How to Accomplish: Once you go through the gate leaving the camp head north on
the road. Kill jungle beasts for the clothes they ate. Be carefull of the big
beasts as they spawn a group of smaller ones when they die. Be sure to equip
the orque clothes.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Find an Item to Write With
From: POW soldier 2 (British)
Reward: One step closer to escape
How to Accomplish: East of the camp you'll find some wooden walkways with some
interrigator chickens on them. Kill all the chickens and keep heading east
until you find a rather large one. Kill him and recieve a quill.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Find an Item to Use as Ink
From: POW soldier 2 (British)
Reward: Even closer to escape...
How to Accomplish: Travel north to where all the jungle beasts are, then head
west into the jungle. Here you'll be attacked by jungle squid tenticles. Fight
your way further west and you'll see a much larger tenticle. Kill this and it
will drop some ink.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Find Paper to Write On
From: POW soldier 2 (British)
Reward: Two steps closer to escape
How to Accomplish: Continue north from where you fought the squids and you'll
come to a rather disgusting place filled with latrene goo's, thats right it's
a latrene. Once you have killed all of the smaller goos attck the big one. Once
it is dead you'll recieve some toilet paper.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Forge Orque ID
From: POW soldier 2 (British)
Reward: A falsified ID for clubing and crossing drawbridges
How to Accomplish: Combine the pen with the ink and the inked pen with the
paper in your inventory.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Learn the Secret Password
From: POW soldier 3 (French)
Reward: Secret and forbidden knowledge of liberation
How to Accomplish: As you approach the latrene you'll hear two orques talking
to each other about how much they hate their detail. One of them is occupying
the outhouse. This is when you learn that gnomes when eaten in exccess causes
constipation. The other orque being the good guy that he is helps his friend
relax by telling him their soothing password "and the mighty Orque Barks Back".
NEW MAIN QUEST: Get Across the POW Bridge
From: POW soldier 1 (American)
Reward: Um... you get across the bridge
How to Accomplish: Once your fully decked out in orque garb, have combined the
pen ink and toilet paper, and you've committed the password to memory, go east
of the control point and begin a dialog with the orque bridge guard.
After you've proven your Orqiness you'll be allowed to pass.
Once the bridge is down head across and kill the orques. Then you'll see a
gate next to which is a first aid station that will dole out potions for you.
So stock up on potions and head through the gate . Now begins the revolution
er... um... well, it seems all your POW buddies have been killed with fire.
Well now it's up to you. Head north and kill all the regular orques but avoid
Ze Commandorque until they are all dead. Once they are begin a dialog with
commandorque. Now you'll change into the jungle murder set which resembles
Rambo. Nice. He will begin to attack you. He's level 4 so you should be careful
and the missles that he calls in with his monocle will kill you in one hit.
Hit and run tactics work well. You'll also need to kill the little
orques that come to help, but that should be pretty easy. Don't forget to
block if you need to and use your justice meter.
Remember that you can get a full justice meter by doing a perfect block, you
just need to time your block to right before he hits you. You can get in a lot
of back hits by using the telsa rod.
Once he's dead you'll collect his monocle which is a great weapon of justice
that turns your enemies against one another. Now follow the path west through
another gate to the north and you'll come to a cave
Once you exit the cave you'll walk up a path where once again you'll meet
Sandy the tall armored red head who lied to you in the first game and then
didn't save you from the POW camp. But I digress. A cutscene will reveal to
you the secret of the thongs.
Part 1: Rambo and the Nun.................DS02b
After the cutscene you'll get several main quests and a package.
NEW MAIN QUEST: The Thong of Cuisine
From: Sandy
Reward: A mighty thong
How to accomplish: Kill Worten, the cook. Keep playing, you'll have to do this
one.
NEW MAIN QUEST: The Thong of Generosity
From: Sandy
Reward: A mighty thong
How to accomplish: Kill.... Santa?!? Sniff... Keep playing, you'll have to do
this one.
NEW MAIN QUEST: The Thong of Compassion
From: Sandy
Reward: A mighty thong
How to accomplish: Kill the nun with a thousand names. Keep playing, you'll
have to do this one.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Disgruntled Delivery
From: Sandy
Reward: Machine gun
How to accomplish: Deliver the package to the Army General up north in Le
Beaux.
Keep going and you'll see a soldier up north a bit, who has a quest for you.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Recon the Comm
From: Cowardly soldier
Reward: Oddly warm gloves
How to accomplish: Find the comm tower to the west of the outpost.
Ok, the battlefield is a fun place, but for god's sake don't hit the bombs, as
they'll kill you outright. You'll also find a odd looking chest nearby that
has a circle, zigzag, and a teardrop on it. Remember that for later, as you
can fashion your own keys for these types of chests.
You can go back to the cowardly soldier for another quest after scouting the
comm tower.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Radio Signals
From: Cowardly soldier
Reward: Oddly warm boots
How to accomplish:  Quick! Run the dynamite to the tower. I suggest you kill
the orque's around it first.
Again, you can head back to the cowardly soldier for yet another quest.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Behind Enemy Lines
From: Cowardly soldier
Reward: Flaming monocle runestone
How to accomplish:  Head west of the blown-up comm tower and kill Col. Orque.
Col. Orque isn't too hard, use your new monocle to take away his troops and
lay the smack-down on him. You'll get your first runestone as a reward, which
is awesome.
Runestones let you combine weapons and use them both at the same time, when
your justice meter is full, for awesome attacks. Try it out when you can.
You'll also get a side quest.
NEW SIDE QUEST: The Plan
From: Cowardly soldier
Reward: Machine gun
How to accomplish: Take the plans to the Army General in Le Beaux Kuckelle.
Now head to the Navy dock (remember your map is L1) to talk the soldiers here
for two more quests.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Melon Protection
From: Outpost soldier (navy docks)
Reward: Undeath grenade
How to accomplish:  Buy the soldier a new helmet from Poque LaTere's Armory in
Le Beaux Kuckelle.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Mega Bomb
From: Outpost soldier (navy docks)
Reward: Greatest generation shoulders
How to accomplish: Use the bazooka to blow up the bomb past the bridge.
Now head down the docks and kill the enemies around the huge bomb. Now use your
bazooka to blow the bomb to pieces. Fun. Be careful and don't run in to fast,
there's exploding barrels that sometimes don't explode all at once and can kill
you.
As soon as you destroy the bomb and cross the bridge, a plane will take the
bridge out. This gives you a side quest to use an outhouse to get back to the
outpost soldiers.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Use an Outhouse
From: Storyline
Reward: Learning how to teleport?
How to accomplish: Simply warp to the outpost soldiers via an outhouse.
You can now do the side quest for the outpost soldier by buying him a helmet.
The shopkeeper will also have two packages for you to deliver.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Find the Taint
From: Poque Latete
Reward: Well, you get to meet a pirate.
How to accomplish: Deliver the package to Captain Taint, in Scurvyville.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Off To Farmer Blizbane
From: Poque Latete
Reward: Minor crit. Potion
How to accomplish: Deliver the package to Farmer Blizbane, who lives north of
Le Beaux Kuckelle.
Ok, Enter Le Beaux and talk to everyone, you should  get several quests to do.
Also check out Fort Discharge nearby for some more. You'll get ALOT of quests
after checking out the city and the fort.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Map out the North Pole
From: Army General
Reward: Molten warfare helm
How to accomplish: Sail by the buoy's around the North Pole.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Chunk of Gold
From: Army General
Reward: Molten warfare gloves
How to accomplish: Take the heart of gold from Madame Primp in Strumfuquel.
You'll need to get her to change her costume and than try and open the odd
chest in her room. Make sure you have the right key from the locksmith.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Gun Parts
From: Army General
Reward: Bazooka
How to accomplish: Collect the gun parts scattered around the catacombs that
you access from the Sanctuary.
NEW SIDE QUEST: For the War Effort
From: General's assistant
Reward: Spinning tomahawk
How to accomplish: Collect 50 pieces of scrap metal. These are scattered about
and drop from killing orques.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Marching Orders
From: General's assistant
Reward: Undeath sword
How to accomplish: Deliver the marching orders to the captain at the navy docks
(complete after the Dammit! quest).
NEW SIDE QUEST: Odd Looking Chest
From: Locksmith
Reward: Gold treasure chest key
How to accomplish: Examine the odd looking chest north of Le Beaux.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Vacuum Tubes
From: Radio host
Reward: Incendiary grenade
How to accomplish: Destroy robots for the vacuum tubes at the Eisenbein
residence.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Lost Father
From: Lucy Eisenbein
Reward: Undeath grenade
How to accomplish: You'll find Lucy's father past Tricore-7, stuck in a cage.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Mercy
From: Town medic
Reward: Fire axe 2: Hot Steele
How to accomplish: Retrieve medical supplies from the Sanctuary.
Wow, a lot of quests, right? We can do some of the side quests now, but a lot
of them we will have to wait awhile for, some of them (like the North Pole
quests) we can only do near the end of the game. Go ahead and try to go to
the navy docks. What? This can't be! As you head to the captain you'll be
mugged! Gah. You can also talk to the captain for another quest.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Dammit!
From: Storyline
Reward: Undeath bazooka
How to accomplish: Find the thieving orc south of the first broken wooden
bridge and kill him.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Oil for the Ship
From: Navy captain
Reward: Machine gun
How to accomplish: Retrieve 10 oil barrels from the eisenbein house north of
Le Beaux. The captain will leave a note telling you he's at the dock near the
jungle in the east.
Well, so much for that. Well, remember the broken wodden bridge? Head there
and kill the orcs nearby to recover the orders. Than give it to the navy
captain. Head north to find that chest for the locksmith, this one has
a mushroom, diamond, and a teardrop. We can now come back if we need any oddly
shapped keys. You can get the one by the first outpost now if you want,
remember it had a circle, zigzag, and a teardrop on it.
Head north and take the path east to go to the Eisenbeing residence. Here you
can collect oil and kill robots while collecting vacuum tubes. Yea!
You'll get a new quest from the jounalist guy while having your oil delivery
delayed.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Photojournalism
From: Radio host
Reward: Minor healing potion
How to accomplish: Use the camera to take pictures by the lights arouhd the
Destroyed City.
Head further north and you'll come to Rarmer Blizbane's farm. Here you can drop
off your package to him and get another side quest.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Rampaging Robots
From: Farmer Blizbane
Reward: Orb of brief invulnerability
How to accomplish: Kill rampaging farm robots for Farmer Blizbane.
You can head north east to get to the robots. Killing them is easy, but try
not to smack the little purple beasts as they pack a punch. Also, check out
the bridge to the east on your way back. You'll get two more quests. Also
make sure to inspect the dead adventurer to the west of Farmer Blizbane's
place.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Pesky Skeletons
From: Farmer Blizbane
Reward: Heck from heaven
How to accomplish: Kill skeletons and bring their thigh bones to Farmer
Blizbane.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Lower the Orque Drawbridge
From: Storyline
Reward: Access to the bridge
How to accomplish: Go northeast from the destroyed city and around to the
peninsula to find a lever that will let you across the bridge.
Head further north to reach the destroyed city. As you kill the orc's you'll
notice that you'll get photo op opportunities, so take some photo's if you
want. Just look for the street lamps for good photo spots. You can also find
ol' Ima and Strunken to the northwest of the destroyed city. After talking to
the two (who really shouldn't be married),  you can than grab three lemons
from the tree. Don't leave, Strunken!!
Well,  he didn't leave too far, you'll find him south from Ima again. Like
always, Strunken want's dung. Sigh...
NEW SIDE QUEST: Manure Matters
From: Strunken
Reward: Help from heaven
How to accomplish:  When you fight jungle donkey's in the Scurvy Jungle,
collect their dung and give it to Strunken.
Fight your way east and you'll meet an old friend, the greem exterminator.
Needless to say...
NEW SIDE QUEST: Queen of the Lost Jungle
From: Greem exterminator
Reward: Calvary sword of super carving
How to accomplish: Use the greem whistle on the jungle mating stone and
defeat the greem queen.
Head around to the peninsula while killing the orcs. Here you can lower the
drawbridge that you saw earlier as well as find another odd chest, this one
with a heart, a diamond, and a teardrop. You can get another side quest from
the radio host as well.
NEW SIDE QUEST: On the Air
From: Radio host
Reward: Machine gun
How to accomplish:  Fix the five radio towers scattered around Farmer
Blizbane's property.
The radio towers are spread out, one is by farmer blizbane, and you'll find
four more past the drawbridge into blizbane's farmlands. You can also do the
skeleton quest here.
The farmlands also have commanders that you can't hurt yet, so leave them
alone for now. Keep fighting through the farmlands to the field outhouse and
you'll get two more quests. You can also get another quest from the radio host
after repairing all of the towers.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Find a Detour
From: Storyline
Reward: Access to new areas.
How to accomplish: Keep playing, you'll complete this automatically.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Shoot the Recruits
From: Outpost soldier (by field outhouse)
Reward: Minor healing potion
How to accomplish: Kill the giant pips in the snowy mountains and collect
their teeth.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Heart of Darkness
From: Radio host
Reward: Help from Heaven
How to accomplish: <eet with Scoop the Reporter. You can find him in the
Jungle, near the south. (Or use the Jungle Outhouse).
You can also do another side quest for Blizbane after killing the skeletons.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Thighbone Delivery
From: Farmer Blizbane
Reward: Orb of invulnerability
How to accomplish: Take the thighbones to the demon witch north west of the
Sanctuary.
Anyway, head south of the field outhouse and you will find another radio
tower, as well as the navy captain. Give him his oil and you'll be given a
quest.
Oh, you'll also find our good buddy the thongolith researcher a bit down the
road as well. I should also mention that I gathered 50 scrap metals by now,
and you should be getting close as well.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Save the Seamen
From: Navy Captain
Reward: Poison bazooka
How to accomplish: Rescue the seamne from the jungle greem camp
NEW MAIN QUEST: Thongolith of Compassion
From: Thongolith researcher
Reward: Great white north gloves
How to accomplish: Use the instrument at the thongolith of compassion and
fight off the waves of enemies it spawns. Elemental weapons advised.
Well, the thongolith is just down the path a bit, so if you do take it's
readings you can go back to the researcher for another quest.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Thongolith of Cuisine
From: Thongolith researcher
Reward: Desperadic gloves
How to accomplish: Use the instrument at the thongolith of cuisine and fight
off the waves of enemies it spawns. Elemental weapons advised.
Keep heading through the jungle and you can find Scoop, the reporter who's
papers you've been reading, down to the south. He'll give you a story to
deliver to the radio host. You can also find a mutinous pirate nearby, but
he's a bit too hard for us right now. Just remember that he is east of Scoop.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Scoop's Secret Story
From: Scoop
Reward: Minor crit potion
How to accomplish: Take the story to the radio host in Le Beaux.
A bit north west of Scoop is the spelunker, again returning from deathspank.
Of course, he'll want you to go get crystals for him. You'll see him standing
near caves throughout the game. Every single time all you have to do is get
the crystal's from the cave's for him.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Jungle Crystal
From: Spelunker
Reward: Gold treasure chest key
How to accomplish: Very easy, like all the spelunker's quest. Go into the cave
to get the crystal for him.
You'll also notice a call lever inside the cave, which is used for a quest
in the future.
Now head south into the greem camp, take out the greems, and rescue the four
sailors scattered about from their cages. The navy captain will once again
take off and leave a note for you. Ok, If I rescue a crew, you should wait for
me! Right?!?!
You can find the captain by teleporting to the field outhouse and heading west,
where he will be anchored up. Returning his crew will net you another quest.
Oh, you can also do the greem queen quest now and get another greem queen
quest from the exterminator if you so choose.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Queen of the High Plains
From: Greem exterminator
Reward: War hammer
How to accomplish: Use the greem whistle on the high plains greem mating stone
and kill the queen
NEW SIDE QUEST: Embattlements go Boom
From: Navy Captain
Reward: Hunting sword
How to accomplish: Use the C4 to destroy the four orque trooper embattlements
that you have fought through already.
You can do that fairly easily by visiting the embattlements, with three
explosions north of Farmer Blizbane (one directly north, and two further up by
the destroyed city, around on the penisula), and one east of Farmer Blizbane.
Ok, with all that questing out of the way, go to the Mountain Base outhouse
and keep going down the trail. You'll find some Pips who, like the last game,
pack a punch, so remember to block and use your justice meter. My advice?
Fire grenades, baby!
Or, y'know, bazooka's work well too.
A bit further on you'll find an odd treasure chest with a heart, diamond, and
a star. You'll also meet the brave... er.. cowardly spelunker again.
New quest!
NEW SIDE QUEST: Rocky Path Crystal
From: Spelunker
Reward: Gold treasure chest key
How to accomplish: Get the crystal from the rocky path cave.
Keep heading down the very curvy path and you'll run into the home of Plaid
Pete, who, as you'll see, is drunk off his ass. Deathspank remarks that he'll
talk to him later, when it's plot significant. Haha, this game crack's me up.
Keep heading down the path and you'll reach the scurvy jungle. Sounds like a
nice place. You can also visit Scurvyville, which has quite a few quests for
you. ARR!
NEW SIDE QUEST: Pirate's Best Friend
From: Insecure pirate
Reward: Major Stealth Potion
How to accomplish: Finds some parrots on chicken island for the pirate.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Treasure Map
From: Cpt. Taint
Reward: Feeling heroic?
How to accomplish: Find the captains mutinous pirate members:
1. In Scurvyville Jungle
2. East of Scoop, in the Jungle
3. Past Hanna's house, by the UFO
4. By the Crazy Husband Spelunker Cave
5. On spider island
NEW SIDE QUEST: Pirate Without A Cause
From: Treasureless pirate
Reward: Grenade
How to accomplish: Bring back a generic treasure for the tresureless pirate
from skeleton island.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Pour Le Roi et Le Pays
From: French pirate person
Reward: Epic chest of awesomeness
How to accomplish: Plant the 10 french flags across the world.
Find the "Stand de Drapequ"'s around the world.
1. East of Scurvyville
2. By the Sanctuary
3. Fort discharge
4. Sierra mountains (as far west as you can go)
5. By the Oasis
6. By Worten's
7. Outside of  Worten's
8. Spider Island
9. Strumfuquel
10. Dino graveyard.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Lemon
From: Cpt. Taint
Reward: Falchion
How to accomplish: Get the lemons from Strunkens farm, nortwest of the
Destroyed City.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Keys to the Ship
From: Cpt. Taint
Reward: A ship!
How to accomplish: Get the keys from Plaid Pete. You'll need the rum and
lemons before you get the ship, though.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Rum
From: Cpt. Taint
Reward: Hammer of Frozen Dooms
How to accomplish: Kill Worten to be able to buy rum from Strumfuquel.
Quite a few quests, some of which we can't do right away. Some we can. Some
will take literally the whole game to do.
If you want, go ahead and do the plaid pete quest, it's a rather fun fight and
you can get a shiny new runestone, the Undeath Railroad. You'll also get a
wishing coin, which we'll need later. You can also complete the jungle donkey
dung quest for Strunken, which nets you another quest:
NEW SIDE QUEST: Dino Droppings
From: Strunken
Reward: Poison club the second
How to accomplish: Kill a tyrannoraptor for its dung. It is located in the
dino graveyard.
Well, for now head east through the cave (after killing the donkey's in the
nearby jungle). Keep going through the caves and you'll complete the detour
quest you got long ago. Nice.
Kill the commanader (again, bazooka) for some nice equipment and keep heading
north. Killing the purple pips here will give you their teeth as well. You'll
also find the spelunker again to the northwest of this area.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Snowy Mountain Crystal
From: Spelunker
Reward: Gold treasure chest key
How to accomplish: Cave, crystal, done.
This cave also has a special runestone for us, the Nature Tesla Rod. Nice.
Go into the next cave. Squash the puny ants until you see the dragon further
in. Well, this is Big Poppa Dragon. Get in a few cheap bazooka shots and than
go to fight him. When he's about half way dead he'll use a big fire breathing
attack, during which you can get in some more bazooka shots or cheap shots at
his back.
He's not too hard, I won easily at level 6.
When he dies you'll get ANOTHER runestone. This one is the Undeath Calvary.
Again, nice!
Okay, for those of you that bought the game when it first came out, you'll
notice that there's a cave to the east, called the mysterious cave.
Inside you can find a frozenish monk, with another quest.
This area is meant to come back to later, as the enemies in the narrow paths
are extremly hard for now, but keep this area in mind. I went through it by
myself at level 15 and Thnikaman and I went through it co-op at level 13. It's
a great place to level as well as get the best armor in the game from.
NEW SIDE QUEST: A Silent Quest
From: Frozen monk
Reward: Shank's Mega-Bloody Motor-Saw
How to accomplish: Kill the Taking Tree at the end of the Dungeon.
Anyway, back to the main quest.
Keep heading down the path and you'll enter the Dark Forest. You'll also find
another journal page from Dr. Eisbein. You'll als see a Salmonella Ghoul
chicken thingy that you'll get a quest from.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Feed the Salmonella Ghoul
From: The Salmonella Ghoul
Reward: Help from heaven
How to accomplish: Lure a stoopid chicken from the Sanctuary to the Salmonella
Ghoul. Yummy.
Keep heading north and go right to the Dark Forest Lake. You'll find another
chest that has a circle, diamond, and a crescent on it. You'll also encounter
good old Rich Cabin nearby, which of course means more side quests. You'll
also find the Spelunker nearby as well.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Rub It In
From: Rich Cabin
Reward: War Hammer
How to accomplish: Give the magazine to Derek Oil, in his estate west of
Strumfuquel.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Crystal in the Dark
From: Spelunker
Reward: Gold treasure chest key
How to accomplish: Cave, crystal, done.
This cave also has a nice runestone for us, the Flaming Calvary.
Head back out and kill your way towards the Sanctuary. You can also explore
around for a few treasure chests. Here you can find some of the medical
supplies and listen to stories from the tourist monks (make sure to listen to
these stories, guys), but the monk on the stairs won't let you enter. He keeps
saying only those near death may enter.
Well, you know what needs to be done. Go forth and .... almost die! Yes, now
that your heart beat is on the screen, you can now go in. Now you'll see the
nun scolding some people for walking on the grass. Urgh.. don't you hate that
rule? What else is grass there for? Now talk to these two monks and convince
Darren to go skinny dipping, than you can run down to the lake and take their
monk gear.
Equip it and head back to the Sanctuary where you saw the nun enter. The monk
will enter the building, so follow him. You'll also find a library book on the
floor, as well as a new quest.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Enter the Catacombs
From: Plotline
Reward: Entrance to the catacombs
How to accomplish: You need to burn five forbidden books in the sanctuary room.
One is given to you right off the bat. you can find three more in the library
in Le Beaux. The last one you need to get from Mr. Frangtrangle, who is past
the Tricore-7 robot.
North past the Sanctuary is another Eisben journal. Nearby is Hanna's place.
She's the witch that Blizbane wanted the package deliverd to. Once you do
you'll be given several new quests (talk to the well too, for another quest).
NEW SIDE QUEST: Make a Wish
From: The talking well by Hanna's place
Reward: Minor Healing Potion
How to accomplish: Rind wishing coins to give to the talking well. You can
give the well additional coins you find at anytime.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Heroic Remains
From: Hanna
Reward: Poison Club
How to accomplish: Find the tomb of the unknown ghoul slayer west of the dark
forest outhouse.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Do Bearalopes... In the Woods
From: Hanna
Reward: $240
How to accomplish: Kill bearalopes to get their droppings. Geesh, this game
and droppings... You'll have to wait for the bearalopes to respawn to get all
the droppings.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Red Alien/ Green Alien
From: Hanna
Reward: Minor Stealth Potion
How to accomplish: Kill red aliens and collect their goo behind Hanna's place.
Head up behind Hanna's house to meet your first alien!! Well, it's not too
special, it seems Deathspank already knows the creature.
NEW SIDE QUEST: A Safe Return
From: Green alien
Reward: Ray gun
How to accomplish: Recover the space ship parts from the red aliens.
Explore the area behind Hanna's house to find the red aliens, where you can
get the ship parts and goo. There's also a pirate deserter back here, but's
he's level 16 and has a ranged weapon, so leave him alone for now.
Once you get Hanna's quest done, you'll get a new quest.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Magical Ward
From: Hanna
Reward: Command killer sword
How to accomplish: Return to Farmer Blizbane
Return to Farmer Blizbane and you'll get a new undead killer sword and a new
quest.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Undead Commanders
From: Farmer Blizbane
Reward: $3960
How to accomplish: Use your new sword to kill the undead commanders.
Finally, sweet vengence.
Now you can keep heading up pash Hanna's house.
You can also find Dr. Eisbein up the road, who will give you another quest.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Father in a Cage
From: Dr. Eisbein
Reward: Super soldier spade
How to accomplish: Kill the mark 6 robots to finD the key punchcard. The
robots are a little ways past Dr. Eisbein.
The robots are easy to kill and only up the road a little ways. After freeing
the good doctor, he'll want you to deliver plans to his daugher Lucy. Warp
back to Le Beaux. Since thats so easy to do, I'll give you the quest that Lucy
gives you after you deliver the plans as well.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Tricore-7 Plans
From: Dr. Eisbein
Reward: Undeath grenade
How to accomplish: Warp to Le Beaux and talk to Lucy.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Robot Scans
From: Lucy Eisbein
Reward: Minor Speed Potion
How to accomplish: Scan a Mark-7 robot with the scanner Lucy gave to you. They
can be found at Wortten's Factory.
Be careful how far you go up, the Tricore 7, which is the huge robot looking
background thing, can kill you in one hit. So walk around it! You'll
eventually meet the very large, obnoxious Leprechaun. He'll give you a riddle
to cross his rainbow bridge, but no matter what you answer you will be wrong.
After a while you will insult him and have to fight.
He grows bigger every once in awhile and will push you back, but just keep at
him and he'll fall fast enough. Just swinging Fire Axe 2 was good enough for
me to kill him. Once he's dead he'll drop a runestone, Poison Railroad, as well
as a library book that you'll need to get into the Sanctuary. Since we have all
the forbidden books, lets head back there. Equip all your monk gear again,
especially if you are auto-equiping equipment. Don't forget to take your
auto-equip option off at this point.
Go into the temple of altars and place all the books onto the pedestals than
hit the switch. Now move onto the center of the star and head down into the
catacombs.
Down here the monks will welcome you since you are wearing your monk robes.
None of the catacomb inhabitants will harm you, in fact, so keep it that way
for now. You can also find gun parts scattered about. Head downwards and here
you'll come to the first real puzzle of the game.
Hit the switches in this order to pass:
1. Brown
2. Orange
3. Red
4. Brown
5. Red
6. Blue
7. Yellow
8. Green
9. Yellow
Now you can move onward to the store room, which holds plenty of barrels and
a TON of gun parts. You should be able to finish the gun part quest by
visiting here.
Now go through the dungeon and you'll eventually see the Nun surronded by five
different barriers. Go down each of the colored paths and talk to the silent
monk brute's, each of who will give you an item. Use that item on the device
nearby to take down the barrier.
You can now talk to the Nun, who will tell you that she controls the powers
of the five gods that you learned about from the tourist-monks. She'll than
turn into each of the gods, or rather make the statues come to life.
Now we have a choice, we can either fight the statues or talk our way out of
it. Talking our way out not only saves us a fight, but it makes the Nun
weaker in the end.
The first statue, Beatrice, will knock all your weapons out of your hands. I
recommend using the fire axe 2 to continually hit her, and when it happens
just run up and pick up the fire axe to continue hurting her. After she's dead
you will have all your weapons again.
To talk your way out of it, just answer: "Nine years of work couldn't capture
it's perfection."
The next statue, Lucy, will hit you taking away money. Ouchy ouch. Smack her
through your wallet pains as fast as you can.
To talk your way out of it, just answer: "I give all that I have to the
downtrodden."
The next statue, Susan, will slow you down and poison you. She's not too bad,
honestly, just block when you need to, use your justice, and smash her to bits.
To talk your way out of it, just answer: "That which makes flowers bloom and
birds sing."
Albert, the next statue, will make you run away from it... and sometimes will
shrink you. He is also resistant to fire and has a very weak projectile
attack, so use your ranged weapons.
To talk your way out of it, just answer: "The last thing you ever lifted."
The last statue, Walter, will randomly make all your items move to differnt
slots, but he hits like a girl and your items will go back to their original
slots after a little while, making Walter no challenge at all. Plus, I mean,
you can SEE where your items are so just look and hit whatever button your
weapons pop up on.
To talk your way out of it, just answer: "I'm confused."
After going through all the gods, the Nun will start to fight, using her ruler
as a weapon. Hit her with your best weapons. She's not hard at all since you
talked your way through the gods, maybe requiring one potion throughout the
fight, and afterwards you'll recover the thong of compassion and be treated to
a cutscene. You'll also get the gate key to the west. Nice.
Notice, the Nun will be harder depending on how many gods you fought instead
of talked to, as she will inherit their special attacks, so best to talk your
way through.
Afterwards, you will again meet up with Sandy and get two new quests.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Open The Gate To The West
From: Storyline
Reward: Access to the west
How to Accomplish: Kill the nun.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Cantankerous Delivery
From: Sandy
Reward: Revolver
How to Accomplish: Deliver the package to the sheriff of Strumfuquel
Part 2: Something sinister is cooking.....DS02c
Once you pass through the gate to the west you'll see an elevator. Take it
up and suddenly you'll be in the wild west. Up ahead the road forks if you go
west you'll quickly find a man and  woman standing next to a stage coach.
Talk to them to recieve your first quests. Walk a bit to the west and you'll
discover the road to Strumfuquel has been blockaded by the White Rock
Banditos.
Also, If you head east down the path you'll find the secret greem camp.
Here you can complete the queen of the high plains quest. Beware the robber
greems when they hit you you'll drop cash. You can pick it back up but it's
still a chore.
NEW MAIN QUEST: White Bandito Blockade
From: Approaching the blockade
Reward: Passage into Stumfuquel
How to Accomplish: Complete the damsel and stage coach driver quests.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Neither Rain Nor Sleight...
From: Stage Coach Driver
Reward: 3 major stealth potion
How to Accomplish: Travel North past the ghosts and skeletons ( remember your
nature club for the ghosts) into the White Bandito's camp you'll find the
mailbags scattered about their camp.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Fancy Hats
From: Damsel
Reward: $11960
How to Accomplish: In the same White Bandito camp as well as on the road
leading up to it you'll find the hats. You'll see them as the are hard to
miss.
Now head south again to the stage coach and turn them in and you'll recieve
yet another quest from the stage coach driver.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Pretty, Pretty Hand
From: Stage coach Driver
Reward: Terrible Lizard boots
How to Accomplish: Head back to the Bandito camp and kill the orque chief to
get his hand and take it back to the coach driver.
While your up that way you should head west from the camp until you find some
giant ants kill them (Note: fire ants are immune to fire damage) and head
north where you'll find the spelunker again.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Ant Crystal
From: Spelunker
Reward: Gold key
How to Accomplish: Just get the crystal. However, be careful of the lvl 12
ants inside.
Now return to the stage coach driver with the pearl hand. Now since that
bussiness is complete the path to strumfuquel is now open. So continue west
until you find the town here a plethora of quests awaits you.
At the North end of the town is a flag post for the "Pour Le Roi Et Le Pays"
quest.
Go into Madame Primps Brothel and speak to her. Turns out she's a prostitute
and she's got a heart of gold. She also has a lot of costumes if you want the
trophy you have to pick every postition from the menu. Once she goes to change
check the chest for what shapes it needs. Once you get the key go back and get
her to change again. When she does open the chest and she will attack you kill
her and she will drop her heart of gold which will give you the chunk of gold
you need for the chunk of gold quest.
NEW SIDE QUEST: From One Law Man to Another
From: Stage Coach Driver
Reward: (Unsure, email us the reward if you can).
How to Accomplish: Just go to Strumfuquel and deliver it to the sheriff.
You'll find the sheriff near the center of the town so that you can deliver
the note from the stagecoach driver and sandy's package to him.
He'll also have some quests for you. Head further west from the sheriff and
you'll see the Haunted Crotch bar. Hurray, surely nothing could stand in the
way of piratedom now lookout rum here I.... oh. It seems Grimtub Hobblepotty
the bartender and owner of the bar has had his licour license stollen by this
worten woman we've heard so much about. Drat and double drat.
There are A LOT of quests you can get here. Again, some we can do and some will
wait for awhile.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Nitro Run
From: Engineer
Reward: Terrible Lizard helm
How to Accomplish: Before accepting this quest head south along the tracks and
kill the fire ants there. Then return to the engineer get the Nitroglycerine
and take it south to the conductor.
NEW MAIN QUEST: Liquor License
From: Grimtub Hobblepotty
Reward: The ability to purchase Rum as well as other potables.
How to Accomplish: You'll get Grimtub's Liscence after killing Worten.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Rattler Snakeskin Boots
From: Sheriff of Strumfuquel
Reward: 8 grenades
How to Accomplish: Go back to the white rock orque camp and kill orques until
they drop the boots.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Going Home
From: Sad Widow
Reward: 10 undeath grenades
How to Accomplish: Once you speak with her take her east towards the haunted
farm (the one north of the elevator), being careful not to get too far ahead.
Once you drop her off at the farm she'll ask you to find her missing husband.
NEW SIDE QUEST: The Lost Husband
From: The Sad Widow
Reward: Chest of the Golden Lion
How to Accomplish: The Husband is further down the western area, to the
northwest of Worten's.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Trillion Dollar Bill
From: Banker
Reward: 5 ice grenades
How to Accomplish: Go to the Blue Basin Orque camp and kill the Orque chief
there.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Money Troubles
From: Banker
Reward: Fire resistance potion
How to Accomplish: Deliver the theft report to Derrik Oil.
NEW SIDE QUEST- Queen of Greem Island
From: Greem Exterminator
Reward: Orb of wicked invulerability
How to Accomplish: Once you have a ship travel to Greem Island, kill the queen
greem there and take her mating gland.
NEW SIDE QUEST: The Waiting Deputy
From: Sheriff of Strumfuquel
Reward: Awesome armor potion
How to Accomplish: Once you've completed all the quests in the Blue Basin
Bandito camp to the west the blockade they put up will go down. Just on the
other side of it to the North is the deputy. Deliver the warrant and evict
those troublesome peace loving monks.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Sandy Snowbellies
From: Prospector
Reward: Plate Shoulders of Siding
How to Accomplish: Go to the cave in the Sandy Desert and use the blasting
caps anywhere in the cave for a rock sample.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Blood Mountain Bacon
From: Prospector
Reward: 5 poison grenades
How to Accomplish: Go to the cave in the Blood Mountains and use the blasting
caps anywhere in the cave for a rock sample.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Dino Rashers
From: Prospector
Reward: Necklace of Use
How to Accomplish: Go to the cave in the dinosaur graveyard and use the
blasting caps anywhere in the cave for a rock sample.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Prickly Pork
From: Prospector
Reward: Gold Key
How to Accomplish: Go to the cave in the Cactus Forest and use the blasting
caps anywhere in the cave for a rock sample.
Once you complete the snake skin boots quest the sheriff will have another
quest for you to do.
NEW SIDE QUEST: 37.8 Liter Hat
From: The Sheriff of Strumfuquel
Reward: Venomous crown
How to Accomplish: As you walk don the tracks you'll come across another
blockade. Just south of this blockade is the red orque camp kill their chief
and you'll get the hat.
Travel south following the tracks and you'll see a path leading north with a
sign that says Dereck oil over it. This path will lead you to the tar pits.
Here you will not only find Derrik Oil (In the northern most part of the tar
pits), whom you must take Rich Cabins magazine to, but also two spelunker
caves (one in the east and one in the west).
On the path towards the western cave before the dino graveyard you'll find
another flagpost.
Once you enter the dino graveyard you'll see the very large Tyrannoraptor from
which you must collect poop for Strunken.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Tar Pit Crystal
From: Spelunker
Reward: Gold key
How to Accomplish: Get the tar pit crystal from the nearby cave.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Grave Crystal
From: Spelunker
Reward: Gold key
How to Accomplish: Get the grave crystal from the nearby cave.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Oil Hand
From: Derrik Oil
Reward: Gold Key
How to Accomplish: Return to the dino graveyard and kill some Raptors until
they drop the parts.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Wealthy Bastard
From: Derrik Oil
Reward: Awesome armor potion
How to Accomplish: Return to Rich Cabin with Derik's magazine.
Once you return to Rich Cabin he of course has another magazine. Prepare
yourself, the media war is on. I recommend using your portable outhouse for
this part.
NEW SIDE QUEST: Proving His Worth
From: Rich Cabin
Reward: Poison grenades